Fred's Funny pages

The old farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully.
From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tended to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field.
He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.
Immediately, his wife began pestering him. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral service several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.

When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided he had to ask the old farmer about it.

After the service, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, “Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.”

“Oh, I understand, but then what about the men?” the minister asked.

“They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.”
 
~ 4 Worms in Church ~
Four worms and a lesson to be learned!​

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A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. ​

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Four worms were placed into four separate jars. ​

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The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. ​

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The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. ​

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The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.. ​

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The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. ​

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At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:​

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The first worm in alcohol . . . Dead​

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The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . Dead​

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Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . . Dead .
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Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . Alive


So the Minister asked the congregation,

"What did you learn from this demonstration?" ​

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Maxine was sitting in the back quickly raised her hand and said . . .
"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate,
you won't have worms!"​

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That pretty much ended the service !​
 
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