Fred's Funny pages
- Thread starter Ohtobbad
- Start date
TrueBlue02058
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Police dog.
One hot summer day, a blonde from Erimus came to town with her dog, tied it under the
shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked,
'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'
The blonde said it was hers.
'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that
shade tree.'
The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.'
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry
'cause I fed her this morning.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants
to have sex!'
TrueBlue02058
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TrueBlue02058
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TrueBlue02058
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TrueBlue02058
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TrueBlue02058
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05 gt 5spd
On the road again
Hmmm. Maybe I should post this one in the garage - MM discount would still apply
TrueBlue02058
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TrueBlue02058
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A young lad from Cornerbrook, Newfoundland, goes off to University,
but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money.
He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Antigonish that could teach our dog "Jiggy" how to talk.'
'That's amazing!' his Dad says 'How do I get Jiggy in that program?'
'Just send him in here with $1200,' the young lad says, 'I'll get him in the course.'
So his father sends the dog "Jiggy" and $1200.
About two-thirds through the semester, the money
again runs out. The young lad calls home.
'So how's Jiggy doing, son?' his father wants to know
'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read ... '
'Read?!' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get our Jiggy in that program?'
'Just send $2300. I'll get him in the class for sure.'
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
'Where's my Jiggy? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'
'Dad,' the young lad says, 'I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Jiggy was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Cape Breton Post. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead working in the bakery at the grocery store?''
The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!'
'I sure did, Dad!'
'That's my boy!'
The son goes on to become a successful lawyer and then a Member of Parliament...
:FordSmile
:FordSmile
TrueBlue02058
Post King
Donald Trump Is Walking Out Of The White House And Heading Toward His Limo, when A Possible
Assassin Steps Forward And Aims A Gun.
A Secret Service Agent, New On The Job, Shouts, “Mickey Mouse!”
This Startles The Would Be Assassin And He Is Captured.
Later, The Secret Service Agent’s Supervisor Takes Him Aside And Asks, “What In The World Made You
Shout Mickey Mouse?”
Blushing, The Agent Replies, “I Got Nervous.
I Meant To Shout, “Donald Duck!
Assassin Steps Forward And Aims A Gun.
A Secret Service Agent, New On The Job, Shouts, “Mickey Mouse!”
This Startles The Would Be Assassin And He Is Captured.
Later, The Secret Service Agent’s Supervisor Takes Him Aside And Asks, “What In The World Made You
Shout Mickey Mouse?”
Blushing, The Agent Replies, “I Got Nervous.
I Meant To Shout, “Donald Duck!
TrueBlue02058
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TrueBlue02058
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TrueBlue02058
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