Fred's Funny pages

I though this one was worth sharing.

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Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a

sling, his nose is broken, His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.



"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean,

"He couldn't do that to you. He must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it"



"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.
 
"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called the Scottish Arms.... The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said Paddy Sheehan, the Irishman. "Back home in me favorite pub in Galway, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house!"


The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.


"Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me-self, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, “but it did happen to me sister quite a few times”.




 
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