TrueBlue02058
Post King
We are fortunate to live in the Maritimes.
Fred's Funny pages
- Thread starter Ohtobbad
- Start date
TrueBlue02058
Post King
Mustang Owner's Beware.
TrueBlue02058
Post King
You can't fix stupid !
TrueBlue02058
Post King
This Little Piggy went to Walmart
TrueBlue02058
Post King
You can't fix Stupid !
TrueBlue02058
Post King
No more than two.
TrueBlue02058
Post King
The Automotive version of a Joke.
TrueBlue02058
Post King
Double Standard ?
TrueBlue02058
Post King
So True !!!!
TrueBlue02058
Post King
Break Dancing.
TrueBlue02058
Post King
It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere.
05 gt 5spd
On the road again
Most likely a parked Mustang Convertible!
AC Bill
Well-known member
[TABLE="border: 0, cellpadding: 2, cellspacing: 0"]
[TR]
[TD="width: 100%"]
Subject: South of the Border . . .
[FONT="] [FONT="]
I GOT MY CONCEALED CARRY PERMIT YESTERDAY MORNING.
In the afternoon, I went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.
When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the National Rifle Association (NRA) about the gun-control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card
reader!!!
As an intelligent senior citizen, I do not get flustered often. But this time, it took me a while to get my pants back on.
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still don't think I looked that bad!
Just need to wear underwear more often.
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TR]
[TD="width: 100%"]
Subject: South of the Border . . .
[FONT="] [FONT="]
I GOT MY CONCEALED CARRY PERMIT YESTERDAY MORNING.
In the afternoon, I went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm handgun for home/personal protection.
When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the National Rifle Association (NRA) about the gun-control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card
reader!!!
As an intelligent senior citizen, I do not get flustered often. But this time, it took me a while to get my pants back on.
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still don't think I looked that bad!
Just need to wear underwear more often.
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
AC Bill
Well-known member
Marine Corps Fighter Pilot
After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Marine Corps fighter pilot finally regained consciousness. He was in a hospital, in a lot of pain. His friends and family all told him to keep a positive attitude.
While in the ICU, with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him, looking worried. It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Marine, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word: "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
And that, is a positive attitude.
After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Marine Corps fighter pilot finally regained consciousness. He was in a hospital, in a lot of pain. His friends and family all told him to keep a positive attitude.
While in the ICU, with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him, looking worried. It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Marine, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word: "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?"
And that, is a positive attitude.
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.
After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked
"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded "Yes, that is still one of our laws."
The priest then asked "Have you ever eaten pork?"
The rabbi replied "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to
temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in
understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest
"Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, and sat thinking,
for about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said "Better than a ham sandwich, isn't it?"
After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked
"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded "Yes, that is still one of our laws."
The priest then asked "Have you ever eaten pork?"
The rabbi replied "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to
temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in
understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest
"Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my Faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, and sat thinking,
for about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said "Better than a ham sandwich, isn't it?"
TrueBlue02058
Post King
Certainly is a lot better than a Ham Sandwich. :FordSmile
AC Bill
Well-known member
[h=3]Massive Takata Airbag Recall: Everything You Need to Know – News ..[/h] [h=3]Is this model included in the recall I wonder?[/h]
