Fred's Funny pages

So what if you can't read English?

attachment.php
 
Not so Happy anymore, I'm thinking..

Drunk Mustang driver must thought it was a drive-thru?...That, or he was trying to drive down Gasoline Alley and missed...Ft. Langley BC

mustang-crash-1.jpg


mustang-crash-3.jpg
 
I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me! * * Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did. * * We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. * * My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife calls it the Dead Sea. * * The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back" Mrs. Cohen replied, "So did my arthritis!" * * A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking. "The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started." * * * A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What's are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men," The dad answers, "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
 
A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily -- if at all. Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon, from the nurse in the Ford Explorer you pulled over last week." Kind of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top