Fred's Funny pages
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TrueBlue02058
Post King
I'm lucky, I have 2 dogs and live in the Country. My back yard is a field. My German Shepherd, Jake, after seeing me fling shovels full of his Poop, into that field, saves me a lot of work by Pooping out in the Field now. Smart Dog.
Mineral Grey
Well-known member
This is a pretty funny video, this guy has lots of Chevy commercial parodies on his channel ..I seen my first one last night and had to watch them all .
TrueBlue02058
Post King
Police Dog on Duty
A man takes his seat next to a window on a flight from New York to L.A. and at the same time another man sits in the Aisle seat and has his Dog, a black Lab sit in the middle seat.
The passenger by the window asks the man with the dog why his Dog was allowed to sit with the passengers.
The man replied that he was a member of the D.E.A. and that his Dog was a Police Dog.
The D.E.A. Agent went on to explain that his Dog’s name was Sniffer and that he was the best. He told the man that he would demonstrate Sniffers’ skills once the flight got underway.
Moments later, the flight departs and as soon they reached altitude, the Officer says “Sniffer search”.
Sniffer jumps down from his seat and walks down the aisle and sat quietly next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his handler and placed one paw on his arm. The handler said “Good Boy!”
The D.E.A. Agent returns to the man and tells him that the woman in question was in possession of marihuana and that he took note of her seat number and the Police would arrest her when they landed.
The passenger was very impressed!
Sniffer then goes out a second time and sits next to a man for a few seconds then returned to his seat placing 2 paws on his handler’s arm. The Agent says, “That man is in possession of cocaine, I will give his seat number to local police.”
The other passenger exclaims, “What a Dog!”
The Agent sends Sniffer to search again.
Sniffer walked down the middle aisle. He sat down next to a man for a split second, and then ran back to his master. Sniffer jumped up on his seat and took a Dump!
The passenger is disgusted by this behavior and could not understand how such a well trained Dog could behave like this.
So he asks the Agent, “What the Hell just happened?”
The Agent replied nervously, “Sniffer just found a Bomb!”
A man takes his seat next to a window on a flight from New York to L.A. and at the same time another man sits in the Aisle seat and has his Dog, a black Lab sit in the middle seat.
The passenger by the window asks the man with the dog why his Dog was allowed to sit with the passengers.
The man replied that he was a member of the D.E.A. and that his Dog was a Police Dog.
The D.E.A. Agent went on to explain that his Dog’s name was Sniffer and that he was the best. He told the man that he would demonstrate Sniffers’ skills once the flight got underway.
Moments later, the flight departs and as soon they reached altitude, the Officer says “Sniffer search”.
Sniffer jumps down from his seat and walks down the aisle and sat quietly next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his handler and placed one paw on his arm. The handler said “Good Boy!”
The D.E.A. Agent returns to the man and tells him that the woman in question was in possession of marihuana and that he took note of her seat number and the Police would arrest her when they landed.
The passenger was very impressed!
Sniffer then goes out a second time and sits next to a man for a few seconds then returned to his seat placing 2 paws on his handler’s arm. The Agent says, “That man is in possession of cocaine, I will give his seat number to local police.”
The other passenger exclaims, “What a Dog!”
The Agent sends Sniffer to search again.
Sniffer walked down the middle aisle. He sat down next to a man for a split second, and then ran back to his master. Sniffer jumped up on his seat and took a Dump!
The passenger is disgusted by this behavior and could not understand how such a well trained Dog could behave like this.
So he asks the Agent, “What the Hell just happened?”
The Agent replied nervously, “Sniffer just found a Bomb!”
helimech
Well-known member
Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.
It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.
It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
TrueBlue02058
Post King
Good Question, never thought of that, probably cause I will never own an electric car.