Fred's Funny pages


Staff member
Once upon a time. Deep in the forest there was a grand old beach tree growing. A few feet away was a grand old birch tree. For years they argued about which tree was the finest and most virile.
One day they noticed a young sapling growing bravely between them. Of course the argument turned to? You guessed it. Is this a son of birch or son of a beach.
The sapling grew and the argument continued. Finally one day a wood pecker came by. The 2 grand old trees decided to ask the wood pecker with all his experience if he could settle the disagreement once and for all.
Reluctantly he agreed. So he perched himself on a limb of the sapling and began his test. After several hours of nothing from the bird the 2 ask him what he had decided.
The wood pecker replied he had no idea if was son of a beach or son of a birch. But I can honestly
say that is absolutely the best of ash I've ever had my pecker in!!


Staff member
My hot neighbor.

My hot neighbor wanted to make love all night long…
She’s single . . . She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street in the rain and up my driveway.

She knocked on my door hard!! . . . . I rushed to open it, She looked at me and said, “I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make lots of love all night long! Are you busy tonight?”

I immediately replied, “Nope, I’m free . . . I have no plans at all!”

Then she said, “Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?” 😝😝🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍