Fred's Funny pages

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: A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"
 
A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those Headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?”
the husband asks, “What happened?”
His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist.
He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,…
“I do not Have a Headache;
I do not have a headache,
I do not have a headache.
It Worked! The headaches are all gone.”
The husband replies, “Well, that is wonderful.”

His wife then says, “You know, you haven’t been exactly a ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?”

The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment, The husband comes home, rips off his Clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He Puts her on The bed and says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

He goes into The Bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, “Boy, that was wonderful!”

The husband says, “Don’t move! I will be right back.” He goes back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.” With That, He goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom, She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
*
“She’s not my Wife.
She’s Not my wife.
She’s not my wife…”

* His funeral services will be Sunday.
 
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