Color me purple...
Just stepping out of the shower, when the wife walks into the bathroom.
She looks me up and down, and says to me, "You're getting fat!
I said, "Look who's talking".
Then she say's, "So when was the last time you could look down and see your pecker?"
I said, "What the hell do you mean?"
She said, "Because you really need to diet".
I said, "Why? What the hell color is it now?"