Fred's Funny pages
- Thread starter Ohtobbad
- Start date
that was a great show, it would not survive todays political correctness
05 gt 5spd
On the road again
AC Bill
Well-known member
Big cubic inch's
AC Bill
Well-known member
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again'?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you f#**%g! retard!!!!'
Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again'?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you f#**%g! retard!!!!'
AC Bill
Well-known member
“FREE SEX IN ARKANSAS”
A gas station owner in Arkansas was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read:"FREE SEX w/fill-up … just guess the right number between 1 & 10"
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank & asked about the FREE SEX.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his FREE SEX.
The redneck guessed ‘8’, & the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was ‘7’. Sorry, but no FREE SEX this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along w/his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his FREE SEX.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, & asked him to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed ‘2’ this time.
The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was ‘3’. You were close, but no FREE SEX this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, & he doesn't really give away FREE SEX."
Bubba replied, "Nope, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."
A gas station owner in Arkansas was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read:"FREE SEX w/fill-up … just guess the right number between 1 & 10"
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank & asked about the FREE SEX.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his FREE SEX.
The redneck guessed ‘8’, & the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was ‘7’. Sorry, but no FREE SEX this time."
A week later, the same redneck, along w/his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his FREE SEX.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, & asked him to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed ‘2’ this time.
The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was ‘3’. You were close, but no FREE SEX this time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, & he doesn't really give away FREE SEX."
Bubba replied, "Nope, it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."