Fred's Funny pages

AC Bill

Well-known member
Wondering if I should find a new Doctor.
I was showing my doctor a nasty rash that has appeared on my penis and scrotum.
He seemed pretty uncomfortable, and it appeared he really didn't want to examine it, let alone to touch it.
There I was, standing with my pants and boxers around my ankles, and all he said was,
"Please make an appointment for an office visit" and then just carried on with his grocery shopping.

Right out of the blue, I received a brief text from my wife, saying she decided she was breaking up with me...
Imagine how relieved I was, when a couple of minutes later she texted, "Sorry wrong number!" :oops:

My wife was wondering what to wear to a costume party,
"Why not go as a sexy schoolgirl?" I suggested
"No, I couldn't do that, " she laughed.

"Well how about just a schoolgirl then? " I replied.

AC Bill

Well-known member
Three housewives are discussing over coffee, just how cheap their husbands are with the money.
They come up with a plan.

Every Sunday, the three husbands go golfing together. Usually the men go by themselves, but this time the wives insisted on playing.

The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, and a gust of wind blows her skirt up, and reveals her lack of underwear.

'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded.
'Well' she said, 'you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's $50. Go and buy yourself some underwear'

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies.
'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers on!'
She replies, 'I can't afford any, on the little money you give me.'

Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's $20, buy yourself some underwear!'

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. The wind also takes her skirt up over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?'
She too explains,'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency women, here's a comb.... least tidy yerself up a bit.'